Recipe for Disaster
by phoenixfire74656
Summary: Harry Kim overhears something he shouldn't.


Summary: Harry Kim overhears something he shouldn't.

Author's note at the end :)

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just make ridiculous stories about them and pretend they're true.

 **Recipe for Disaster**

"Ouch! Not so hard!"

Harry Kim stopped suddenly. He was crawling through the Jefferies tubes on Deck 3 after fixing a damaged conduit and was on his way out. Leaning his head closer to the wall, he heard another voice.

"Sorry, Kathryn. I'm being as gentle as I can."

Harry's face paled. He knew that voice — it belonged to none other than Commander Chakotay. The first voice, of course, had been Captain Janeway.

Harry looked around the tube, tracing his steps. By his estimate, he was right behind the Captain's quarters. Her bathroom, in fact.

"Move this way," said Chakotay. Harry heard some rustling, then, "No, sit on the side of the tub. I need a better angle."

"Owwww," moaned Kathryn. "Okay, maybe gentle isn't the answer. Try doing it faster."

Harry gulped. He didn't move a muscle, not wanting to tip them off to his presence behind the wall. Whatever he was hearing, he was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be hearing it.

"It's stuck," grunted Chakotay. It sounded like he was out of breath.

"What?" Kathryn replied exasperatedly.

"It's too big. I can't get it out."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. _Oh god_ , he thought. _Oh god, oh god, oh god_. This was a recipe for disaster. He silently cursed himself for volunteering to fix the conduit.

"Well, now what are we going to do?" asked Kathryn. Harry heard a drawer being opened and closed. "No, not that!" she shrieked.

Harry's eyes shot open. _What the hell is going on?_ he thought. _No, I don't want to know…_

Of course, it was too late. He was already the victim of his own accidental eavesdropping. An image of Captain Janeway and the Commander making love against her bathtub floated through his mind. He stifled a groan.

"It's the only way," Chakotay said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Harry heard the Captain sigh. After a few moments, Chakotay spoke again. "Are you okay?" he asked her gently.

Another sigh. "Yes. Thank you. I'm glad your hands are steady."

Harry heard some shuffling, then silence. _They must have left the bathroom_ , he thought. Taking a deep breath, he began to crawl again towards the exit.

"Harry! What took you so long?" called Tom into the Jefferies tube from the opening.

Harry scooted out, smoothed down his uniform, and wiped his brow. "You don't want to know," he replied. Tom looked at him oddly, but merely shrugged.

The next morning, Harry stood at the ops station, staring blankly towards the viewscreen and the back of Tom's head. The Captain and Commander had not yet reported for duty.

Harry was an honest person. He had considered telling the Captain and Commander that he had unintentionally overheard their intimate moment, but he thought better of it. He didn't want Chakotay to beat him and throw him into the brig for the next 70 years.

The turbolift doors swooshed open, breaking Harry from his thoughts. Captain Janeway exited first, followed by Chakotay. Tom spun around in his chair to greet them, but suddenly his expression changed and his jaw dropped a little. Harry's eyes grew wide. Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow.

"Captain, your hair…" started Tom. Kathryn held up a hand to silence him as she took a seat in her chair, Chakotay sitting down beside her.

"Yes, Mr. Paris, I cut my hair," she said, running her fingers through the bob that ended right above her shoulders. "Well, I had some help, anyway," she continued, turning towards Chakotay and smiling. "It turns out getting leola root stuck in your hair is a recipe for disaster. I had a giant knot that just wouldn't come out."

"Well, leola root _is_ a disaster in any recipe," Tom said thoughtfully. "But either way, the cut looks great on you!"

Kathryn smiled. "Thank you, Lieutenant. That's very kind." After a beat, she turned her head towards the ops station. "Mr. Kim, what is our status?"

Her question was met with silence. "Mr. Kim?" she asked again, standing up to get a better view. When she didn't see Harry, she shot Tuvok a worried glance. Tuvok strode over to the ops station.

"It appears Mr. Kim has fainted."

FIN

A/N: I had a knot in my hair and randomly thought of this. I have read several fics where you think one thing is happening, but it's really something else, so I decided to go on that. This was the end result. :)


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